Why don't you realize that one of us may not come out of this whole?
I'm a terrible person, being with me will only hurt you, and being with you only makes me sad as I see the future sprawling ahead. Sometimes I just want to cut through the forest to escape.

I wanted to write something insightful, but I don't know what that would be.
What happened to me? I guess the bitter girls will still wake in the morning sullen and vengeful.

So we went to see Zombieland last night, it was funny.

Then I stayed up far too late and just woke up. I'd say its a weekend well spent.

Now I think I'm going to make cookies, but first i have to go to the store...oh, and activate my new debit card so I can actually use it!

We're getting a kitten today!

In a few hours!

Why is getting a new phone so hard? I know what I want, but I don't think I wanna spend that much....But I love that phone. And I don't know what I'm doing....

Ergh...

Spanish Coffee makes my toes tingle, its the single most wonderful thing in the world. Better than love and better than sex, and better than anything you could ever imagine. Better than Heroin....

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of shit
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappears
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way...

I don't see any point any more...I just don't understand how so many people can be so closed minded.

All that these people think about is hating other people. Its all the same. I'm so sick of it.

I'm also sick of people asking about my scars, seriously, its none of their business...

Smushing fingers in doors hurts....owwwwww

Another fucking WOG day is coming up. My division is trying to force me into doing it, again….Fuck WOG Day! Fuckitfuckitfuckit!

Also Fuck GMC and GD and all the other fuckers who feel it is necessary to constantly belittle and cut me down. Fuck everyone on this fucking ship…

Fuck my life….I’m so sick of being miserable….

I fucking ate my life....

I'm amazed at the amount of damage I've done to my wachovia account in a matter of days. I was so happy I'd finaly gotten back over a grand in there...And now its back to double digits...I'm back to being broke, I need to save every last dime from here on out...
Why is shit so expensive here?
I guess I'm not really broke, but that was my actual "do what you want and no one gets hurt" account. Ie. For wasting in NYC/NH. My navyfed account is for transport needs, like gas, plane tickets, buses, subway, etc...oh, and the rest of the charge from the hostel....

Oh well, I should be getting a tax thing, I think, and there is all the back pay the military owes me....I should be fine...

But no more makeup shopping! Gah.

Watching Brokedown Palace. It makes me want to go to Thailand and the Phillipines...

Mrr, I want Thai Iced Tea, now...It's so good............

I'm so disgusted with myself...I spent almost 300USD on makeup shit today....But, I was replacing my lost collection, so I can rationalize it, kinda...I don't think my eyeshadows will be damaged, or my brushes, but I don't want Andrew's first sight of me after 7 mos. to be without makeup. I want to look spectacular for him. Besides, I was way better than I thought I'd be.

Goodies:
-Benefit Party sticks concealer in tea time
-Benefit Blush powder in Dandelion
-Stila lipgloss in fruit punch
-Stila duo eyeliner/shadow stick in stone
-Sephora Travel Brushes and case
-Sephora Stainless Steel Slanted tweezers
-Sephora Daily brush cleaner and Shampoo
-Lancome Mascara(I don't remember the Name, Hypnose maybe?)
-MAC Lip Lustre in Love Nectar
-MAC Eye shadow in Sushi Flower
And last but not least
-MAC Eye shadow in Humid (to replace the one that broke, was attempted to be repressed and ended up destroyed...)


Overall I don't think I did too badly. And I managed to restrain myself from going too crazy...


Its hot here, time to shower with my new hello Kitty shower shoes! Yay, I can FINALLY throw out my boot camp ones!

Then an episode of Xena....

GLAMROCK NIGHT! PARTY ALL NIGHT LONG!

Spa in the morning...I need to wind down, learn to sleep.

I'm sick of people. But even on liberty you're stuck with these people.....Andrew's driving me insane. I'm just throwing my hands up in defeat and saying, do what you want, you'll do it anyway.....He's so ridiculous. He doesn't even read what I write when I write to him, so obviously he doesn't care.

Facebook and twitter are now banned on the ship.
Gay, not sure how much longer lj will last, I don't think most of these people use it, at least not anymore, the great lj influx has long since passed, but they do know of its existence, which puts it at risk.

Ergh, head hurts....going to crawl back into my rack....need to clean it out too....

But, YAY! DCA said DCPO quarters are back to their original schedule! Whoo!

Ergh, I hate being in the navy. Its a soul crushing experiment in the ultimate defeat. I'd much rather be homeless again.

So...not sure I'll get liberty tomorrow...its not in the POD.

I've spent entirely too much money here. Dropping 25USD for a double and a coke. Wow. Dinner was 50 USD last night for some not great but not terrible chinese food.

Watching The Road to El Dorado now. Very boring day of duty. I hope I get lib tomorrow, I still wanna see the botanical garden. Also very hungry right now...lunch was really good though, and I ate to above maximum capacity...My hair is looking riddiculous....If I lived on the beach I would have dreads simply because of the way my hair is with salt water. It's actually kinda awesome.

So many people are yellling at me, christ, I'm just standing watch.
In port now, finally, 2 months straight, it was insane....
Kantor's coming to straighten my hair around 5am, crazy times....

So I burned my hand on hot water....
Karma's a bitch.

Exhausted, teaching watch supe about computer shit. Hoping that this port call will be better than the last. Wish my husband would email me and waiting to hear back from bety about whether or not she wants to fly down and stay with me for a couple of weeks. Really wish I could just go to sleep though.